At 37 years old, I found myself a single mom with five children, ages 9 months to 11 years old, back in college full time working on my masters. What crazy woman would do such a thing? Ummmm…me. But why?!
For my kids.
In May 2013 after 10 years as a stay at home mom, I found myself pregnant and alone with 4 kids and no full time job. I was substituting so I did have a flexible job with some money coming in but I had no benefits and no summer income. Trying to get a brand new job while pregnant seemed unlikely, so gratefully I was able to kept substituting until baby arrived in December 2013.
Eventually I knew I had no other choice but to leave baby and go back to work. It was now my responsibility to also make sure my children always had a roof over their heads and food to eat. I was scared.
My children’s school librarian retired and I thought it would be a fun job, to be my kids school librarian. I was a licensed and certified teacher but not a librarian. I quickly got the job as a part time teacher with no benefits, no summer income, or pay that matched my degree. Then I started thinking, what if I went back to school to get my masters to be a librarian?
1. With a masters I’d start with a higher pay, being able to better provide for my family.
2. With so many kids, I never know when I may suddenly have to leave work for sick, injured, or other kid problems. Librarians don’t need to find substitutes, they can just cancel their classes.
3. I wouldn’t have to do report cards or bring work home regularly, so I could focus on my kids once I left work.
4. I would be able to bring my kids to work with me if they had a random day off from their school.
5. If I could get all of my 5 kids to love books, I can for sure get more kids to love books, reading, and learning!
That was enough reasons for me!
I knew this was the right path for me when everything fell into place and I found myself enrolled in University of Hawaii’s Library & Information Science Master’s program within a month of my decision.
Did I have a plan on how I was going to attend school, work part time, and take care of 5 kids? NOPE. I knew it was what I needed to do for my kids so I did it. I knew that if I trusted in God, it would all work out. I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone and was planning to figure it out on my own since it was my burden to bear but my parents surprised me and offered to help tend to my children while I was in my afternoon and evening classes. My mom was also taking care of her mother so my dad adjusted his work schedule so that he could take over the evening shift and hung out at my home while I was in classes. I’m forever grateful for their help with my children while I studied!
It was over 12 years since I was last in college. I was EXTREMELY nervous! My academic advisor strongly advised me to NOT register as a full time student as a single mother of so many children, so obediently I signed up as a part time student and took two classes.
I realized right away that I was not a typical college student any more, I now had 5 children depending on me to take care of them. I did not have time to goof off in college. My purpose and focus was strong that I did well my first semester and firmly stood my ground about registering as a full time student the following semester. I did not have time to go slowly, I needed to provide for my family sooner than later. So from my 2nd semester, I attended as a full time student grad student and was able to graduate in less than two years. Graduation was definitely a joyful day for myself, my children, and everyone who helped me get there.
Was it easy? Oh boy, was it NOT…it was HARD.
-I was sleep deprived. I didn’t start my homework until all the children were tucked in bed. When I did go to bed, my baby was still nursing and sleeping with me so I never slept straight through the night.
-I missed spending time with my children. I felt like I was always gone and not there for them as much.
-I worried that I was being a bad mom and slacking in many ways. Especially when I had to put my homework assignments before time with my kids.
-I didn’t feel like I could relate to my classmates as much and didn’t have time to
participate in “extra curricular” activities in my school, because I spent my extra time tending to my kids and helping in my children’s schools.
-I didn’t get any “ME” time. Time I had alone was in classes or studying.
-Our eating habits drastically changed because I didn’t have time to cook.
-I often felt like a chicken running around without a head.
“Bear one another’s burdens,” is what we are taught in church but how often do we get to witness the blessings of these teachings? I have, as family, friends, and church members rallied around my children and I with dinners, child care, lending a helping hand and more. I will forever be grateful for family and friends who served me as Christ did so that I could finish school for my children.
Going back to school with young children was HARD STUFF but knowing it was for my children, made it a little easier and all worth it. And the whole time…I was NOT alone.
I think you are a resourceful and brave woman. Didn’t realize how hard it was in the beginning, but God was with you all the way because look where you are now. You are also an inspiration to other women who find themselves suddenly alone with children. Maybe not pregnant and not with that number of children, but abandoned. You didn’t feel sorry for yourself, but persevered. God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Aunty, so much for your kind words. There were many times I did feel sorry for myself but yes, I was able to focus on what was really important, being the mother my children needed me to be. I do hope my words, through this blog, does help other women to not give up and keep moving forward, no matter what struggles they may have to endure for a time. I do agree that yes, God was and still is with me every step of the way. It made it easier remembering this. Thank you again for your kind comment. <3
You are a amazing woman and mother
Nair, You are too kind. I think we as women and mothers are ALL amazing in our own ways. Some of us just had to endure through more…my journey is still not over and I struggle still in different ways. I hope I can bring hope to more women and mothers who feel they are struggling alone. <3 Thanks again for your sweet comment!
High five mama! I SOOO RELATE TO THIS!!! The sleep deprived, the not relating to classmates. Congrats!! What is your next step??
Lol College with Kids is no joke but was so worth it. A year after I graduated I got my dream job. I’m now on my second year at a wonderful elementary school as their teacher librarian slowly renovating the library and bringing it into the 21st century 😊 I LOVE my job and so do my kids. 😊 What did you go back to college for?
I start back to school this fall with a one year old daughter. I will have two semesters and summer classes then graduation. Your story has inspired me.
I’m proud of you! I won’t lie, it’s NOT easy going back to school with kids. BUT you will NOT regret it. 😊 One thing I loved about college is that the end is always in sight. The end of each semester. Then graduation. Other difficult things we do in life doesn’t have a specific end date but college does! 😉 You’ll do AMAZING!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Great job putting in the hard work, for kids yes, but for you more importantly! So you can be the best mom possible! Good job Mama!
Thank you!
Congrats on making it through!
Thanks!
What a great testimony! You should be very proud of yourself!
Thank you! I hope this post encourages other moms on the fence about going to college that the CAN do it! Thanks for your comment! 😊
Congratulations! I worked at an institution where the average age was 29. Many were single moms. They could have used a strong and positive role model like you! So excited for you and your family in this next chapter of your lives!
Thank you! I do hope my blog does reach many single moms who need to know they CAN do it! 😊
Congratulations! What an accomplishment. And while it was hard not always being there, your kids will always have you as a role model for working hard and achieving your goals and dreams!
Thank you! I really do hope my children remember so they will never give up on their dreams and goals. ❤️
I loved your thought process in becoming a librarian! Congrats!
😄 Thanks!
Been there! Done that! Graduate school with three kids (all three born during five years of graduate school)! I look back and wonder how that was even possible.
Awesome! We don’t know how we did it but there’s no regrets! Congratulations to you! 😄
You are an amazing example to your children. Congratulations on winning at life, even when it didn’t feel like you were.
Thank you for your very kind words! ❤️
Congratulations!! Hard work & fortitude displayed in all its glory as an example for your children. Inspirational to say the least. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your kind comment!
Good for you!!
Thanks!
Good for you! I went back with only three kids as a single mom to get my high school math teaching degree. I couldn’t have imagined it with a baby. Congratulations!
With or without a baby what you did too is impressive! Congratulations to you! 😊
This is amazing for you! I love hearing stories like this!
Thank you. ❤️
Living by example! I believe in life long learning good job mom!
As a librarian I hope to teach all kids how wonderful it is to learn ALWAYS. 💕 Thank you!
That is no easy feat! I applaud you!
Thank you 😊
Good for you! My sister is going through the same thing and I see how stressful it can be on here. Dont give up, you got this!
Thank you! Please share my story with your sister. I’m proud of her! She too will look back and wonder how she survived but she WILL for her kids. ❤️
Going to school with kids plus probably working is like having three jobs!
Lol yes, I was working as a part time teacher librarian at the same time. It was crazy busy. Lol
Congratulations!!! I am 2 months away from completing my BA, and then on to my Masters. It is a difficult road with kids, but so worth the results. Thanks for the inspiration. I needed it today!!!
I’m proud of you!!! You CAN do this and I know you are doing amazing things!! Go girl!!! 😄
That is amazing! I can only imagine how many times you felt overwhelmed trying to keep up with it all!
Funny thing is I don’t remember ALL of the hard times. I mostly remember how relieved and wonderful it felt to be done! Lol
I don’t know you, but I am SO proud of you. Your priorities were straight. Your kids saw you working for something REALLY important. And you did not quit. WooHoo!
Thank you so much. I can feel of your love and sincerity. Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
Good for you! Way to be a great example for your children!
Thank you!
Wow, you are one amazing mama, Ruth! Way to push through and find a solution that will set your family up for success. That must feel so good!
Thank you. 😊 It sure did feel good. When you accomplish anything that almost feels near to impossible it’s amazing! As long as your “why” is strong enough, I think pretty much anything is possible.
Wow! Not easy be any means. So impressive. You’ve done something so important for yourself and for your kids. And youve shown them what hard work and determination looks like. Fantastic.
Thank you! I often wonder what my kids thought about their mom in school. Maybe one day I will find out.
Wow! You are a rockstar! What an amazing accomplishment!!! Congrats!
Lol thank you! Rockstar, I like that. Lol
I went back to school at the age of 40 to get a degree in something that didn’t demand so much of my time. It was hard but I’m glad I did it.
It’s weird going back when older but sometimes I can’t help but think our years of experiences make us better students. Congrats to you for going back to school and finishing!!!
What an amazing story! Way to go. You did it for your kids and they must be so proud of you!
Thank you! I honestly don’t know if they are proud of their mom but at least they don’t mind hanging out with me and going for crazy life adventures with me. Lol
Your story is very similar to mine!! My husband and I have 4 kiddos and had foster children for a few years. However, I began my master and doctoral work after we decided to not continue foster parenting – such a great experience, though. Determination, perseverance, and working towards achieving your goals is evident in your story. Congratulations!!
Thank you! I’m wondering if a doctoral degree is in my future. I’d love to hear more of your story! ❤️
Like!! Great article post.Really thank you! Really Cool.
Thank you! As you make steps toward your better future, more doors will open! ❤️