Yah, It’s True, I’m a Little Crazy…

There are many people that like their jobs. Some even love their jobs. Sadly there are too many that hate their jobs. I love, love, loved my Librarian Teacher job. Loved? Yah, thanks to covid, I ended up resigning from my job. A single mom of SEVEN children quit her job?! Are you crazy?! Yes, I am a little crazy, come on now, I got seven kids. Haha! Here is my story…

Thanks to covid, ALL Hawaii Public Schools were expected to create their own schedules to apply social distancing to their various student populations. I have 6 children in 4 different schools ALL on different schedules. Including the children in my own school. Ironically, as a mother, I chose a career in education to be on the same schedule as my children.

My school planned and coordinated with the middle school and high school in the area to have two groups of students rotating when they would be on campus. When not on campus they are expected to be online or be marked absent.

The days my 1st grader and 6th grader have online school, they are not supposed to be on campus. As the school librarian teacher, I figured I could work with all my children’s different schedules because I would be doing mostly virtual library time and lessons. I could possibly even get permission to stick my kids in a corner of the library so I could monitor them. Especially my 6th grader who is horrible at online learning. He just doesn’t pay attention. I’ve been told by my coworkers that he’s there but doing something else…

So I was gonna work with it. I was worried about my 2yr old not having a sitter still because my previous sitter informed me she wouldn’t be able to help me anymore. I knew I would find someone eventually.

Another worry I had was that I didn’t know who would help me in the mornings and afternoons with my preschooler. Since he changed schools, my friend can’t help me anymore because she works at his previous school. BUT maybe it would work out once all my kids schedules were solidified. We would figure it out…

BUT…Three weeks before school was supposed to start, my principal decided to have kindergarten all day face to face. This meant we now needed another kindergarten teacher to ensure social distancing practices. It became obvious to me that my school needed a kindergarten teacher more than a librarian. I started freaking out…

1. I would have to leave the position I LOVED.
2. I haven’t taught in a full time classroom since 2003. It’s literally a NEW job and so much has changed for teachers since then. I’d have amazing support from the other kindergarten teachers but the stress of a new job…
3. I still didn’t know what my own personal schedule with my family would be like because the three other schools my children attended did not make any final decisions yet.
4. I would NOT be able to have my children at our school be in my classroom with the kindergarteners. They would have to be home doing online learning alone. I do not trust my 11yr old with my 6 yr old at home alone ALL day long AND actually paying attention in their online class. We don’t live in the area so I would not be able to run home and tend to them if they needed me.
5. When in a classroom, especially kindergarten, I can’t be on my phone managing fires going on at home (Mommy, so and so is not paying attention online or doing their work…)
6. Classroom teachers do not have as much flexibility in their schedules so I would not be able to leave early to pick up my preschooler after school if I needed to. His school is 20 minutes away WITHOUT traffic, with traffic 45+min.
7. Thanks to covid, now kids can NOT go to school with a fever, runny nose, or cough. With 7 kids and winter season coming, runny nose is inevitable. I won’t be able to take care of my “sick” kids. Plus as a new teacher, I do not have sick leave piled up.
8. IF I get a call to pick up my kid from school because they had a runny nose or cough that I wasn’t aware of, I would have to leave work again to tend to a child. The farthest school is almost an hour, without traffic.
9. Imagining the STRESS of having to teach social distancing to kindergarteners all day long THEN coming home to tend to 7 kids…

Thinking of moving to kindergarten seriously made me cry every time. I couldn’t do it. I could see myself breaking from the stress from home AND work. I couldn’t do it. Everyone has their limits and I could see mine. If I broke, who would take care of my children?

I was reminded that this was a job, my job, and there are others without jobs waiting in lines for my position. This is true but is any job more important than my mental health and my family? I couldn’t do it. It just didn’t feel right. It made me feel sick to the stomach. Ever heard of follow your gut feeling?

It is better for the school to hire a teacher that can always give their best to the sweet new kindergarten class, not someone who couldn’t focus on the kids because they were worried about their children at home. If I resigned then the school will have the money to hire another teacher.

So I felt the best thing to do was to resign. Even though I’m so so sad to leave the job I LOVED it was the right thing to do for my family and me during this time.

After resigning, I realized that other covid fears were gone.

• I didn’t have to worry about my children catching the bus to or from school.
• I can homeschool my children that struggle with learning online.
• I can homeschool my thumb sucker.
• I don’t have to fight with children that don’t want to wear a mask if I’m homeschooling.
• With less of us going out all the time, our family’s exposure is reduced.

I still get all emotional thinking of all my coworkers, students, and parents that I love. Leaving a job you love is one of the hardest things to do even though it’s the right thing to do.

Now that I’ve resigned, what is a single mom of seven children going to do? The day before I resigned, I received a blessing from my Daddy. What stood out to me was: I would make the decision that was best for my family and that I would be guided to know what to do next.

I have so many things I’m looking forward to and have in the works. I also have a great team and wonderful mentors. Here are some things I’m currently working on to support my family.

• I am a Founding Wellness Partner with Amare Global, The Mental Wellness Company since Oct 2017. I’ve never had the time to really work my side business but for almost two months now, I have been waking up by 4:30am, to work on my business with no interruptions 😏. I’m already seeing growth but the best part is I’m helping so many people feel better from the inside out. I have already helped people with their depression, anxiety, stomach issues, energy levels, quitting coffee and other addictions, ADD/ADHD in kids & adults, and more all with natural products!!! ❤️ It’s definitely a feel good business.
• I am working on finishing my first online course, “How to get Kids to Read More.” I will also create an eBook to go along with the course or to purchase alone. I plan to also create more courses as I discover other needs that I am able to help with.
• I’m really excited about starting my, “Your Virtual Librarian” idea. I’ll be a librarian that will be available to you from home or available to teachers without a librarian in their school. I’ll have once a week live 30-45 minute classes for grades K-6, recorded read alouds to use anytime, recorded activities, and more! I’ll also offer my services to parents and new homeschoolers for support during this time of new educational transitions. I’ll still have the opportunity to be a librarian and do what I love, promote literacy and the love of learning.
• I will also be more consistent with my blog and YouTube Chanel as I go on this crazy exciting journey homeschooling and working from home.

I’m so so grateful to have your love and support as I venture on my own from home. If you would like to have a more personal connection and get the inside scoop of what is coming next on my journey, I would love your support as one of my patrons: https://www.patreon.com/808ruthie

Deep in my heart I know my children and I will be okay. The future is bright and exciting. I’m grateful for each and everyone of your prayers! I believe ALL prayers are answered. ❤️

Onward we go to an amazing future.